There’s no place like home!
The morning after I posted my last blog post, the ward physician and the discharge nurse came into my room and delivered the good news that I could go home. My platelets were high enough that I didn’t have to stay in the hospital over the Canada Day weekend. Caveat: no sharp knives, no risky activities that could cause bruising. As you likely know, your platelets are what help your blood form clots and prevent bleeding. A normal platelet count is about 140,000 to 400,000; mine were at 18,000 that Friday morning. Hence, the caveat to be very careful, which I have been.
Paul laughs at me when I say, “I’ll help cut tomatoes, but with a butter knife.” He usually shoos me out of the kitchen, saying that’s more like “tearing” a tomato. I’m so glad he likes to cook. If not for him, I think I’d starve. And not only because I can’t help much in the kitchen yet, but also because food is a necessity these days, not a joy. I eat because I have to, not because I enjoy it.
So, I’ve been home for just over a week. Has it been easy? Has it been getting any easier? No! I can see that the road to recovery is going to be a hard one. There is nausea. There was one night of intense vomiting. And there is intense exhaustion, which I find the hardest to cope with. Apparently, this exhaustion is “normal”—but how can anything be considered “normal” on this journey? It’s an exhaustion I’ve never known. It forces me to lie down in the middle of the day or early evening. It makes everything an effort.
The only time I’m not exhausted is between 2 am and 4 am, when I wake up and can’t go back to sleep. I’ve been reading, painting, writing … sometimes just walking through the house. I’m not sure what exactly is causing this insomnia, but for someone who has always been a good sleeper, it’s frustrating. I yawn. I feel sleepy. But, the minute I crawl back into bed, I’m wide awake again. Did my two and half weeks in the hospital mess up my sleep? Are the rest periods I have to take during the day making it impossible for me to sleep through the night? I have to hope that this will pass.
In the meantime, summer is a joy, and I do love our backyard with its flowers and small garden.
A bit of a heatwave is coming in a few days, with 35 degrees C expected on Wednesday. It’s our 31st wedding anniversary on July 8th, and I owe so much to Paul, who has stood by me through this treatment and been the absolute best shoulder to cry on. Life is marching on, and I’m determined to get past this post-hospital period and enjoy a long remission from this disease.
I’m also looking forward to posting about things not related to my cancer journey. Soon!
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Oh such bravery and honesty!
Not always easy to be both brave and honest. Sometimes, I just want to hide out from the world.
You often read “a cry of joy erupted from the crowd” . Well I’m crying with joy right now.
Love you both
Richard
Thank you so much! We love you guys too.
We are thinking of you Cynthia and sending healing vibes your way!
Love the Jacksons
Thanks, Joel. Looking forward to seeing you guys soon.
Happy Anniversary to you two with many happy memories and future happiness and adventures ahead.
You’re doing great with your good humor and Paul at your side. Love to you both, and may you get some great rest and relaxing sleep.
Xoxo
Bob and Mary Alice
Thank you, Mary Alice. Hugs to you and Bob.
This is such encouraging news, Cynthia. So glad you are able to smell the roses again. I hope you continue to get stronger and less sleep-deprived as the summer days go by. XO Virginia
Yes, if only the sleeping would resolve itself. Naps in the sun seem to be a daily thing for me, and I’m not a napper.
I’m sending you good, strong energy during this most difficult journey.
Thank you so much, Lynne.
Hi Cynthia and Paul,
It’s so good to get your update, and to know that you’re back home.
I’m sorry for how hard this journey continues to be, but glad to know
you have each other and your girls …. and all of us friends who read your blog.
I send my best wishes for a calm tummy and some good sleeps.
Love from Neil Bricker
Thanks, Neil. We hope to see you soon.
It sounds like you are still in one of the most difficult stages of healing. You know what you want to achieve but your mind and body are not cooperating together. Allow yourself the time you need to heal. You’re going to grow stronger with each passing day. Love to you and your family. ♥️
I know that I have to be kind to myself. It’s frustrating, but I’ll get there.
Thanks for the update, Cynthia. For a person who usually has boundless energy, no wonder the exhaustion is one of the most difficult things for you. I can’t wait to hear you say you are sleeping well again. It will come. I’m sure it will.
Yes, I can’t wait to be back to my old energetic self. Life is calling.
Keep strong, keep fighting, and you will win. Strong will and love and attention of those that love you will prevail, and you will fully recover. Very best. Your friend from Tel Aviv
Thank you so much, Yitzhak.
Happy Anniversary to both of you! Paul is such an amazing guy! You two are an awesome (power) couple! HUGS HUGS HUGS!
Manon:)
Thanks so much!
Congratulations and Blessings to you and Paul.
This is a tough journey but you two have this????. So many family and friends praying and thinking about you.
Thank you. We have so many good people in our lives.
Happy 31st anniversary. Sheers for 31st an more, more.
I’m so happy to hear you are at home now.
I’m sure you soon will be better you are the most incredible warrior I ever known.
Big hugs, God bless you all.
Thanks. Hugs to you and your family.
Happy Anniversary to you and Paul! Sending love to you both!
Thanks so much.
I’m glad to read good news about your treatment. And finally, you’re at home. Not better than that. I hope to continuos receiving more good news from you! ????????
Thanks, Rafael.
That’s a rough go no doubt. Not sleeping I think is probably from stress the unknown with all the stress is going to disrupt anyone’s sleep pattern except maybe Walter always slept. I have had many long bouts of insomnia and there isn’t much good about it. We all hope everything gets better.
Thanks so much, Nick. Yes, I think Walter did always sleep. I miss him!
Keep staying strong Cynthia. I have faith that you will win this battle. Thinking of and praying for you always.
Thanks so much!